POETRY, PROSE & THIS AND THAT

 

A collection of words that have affected me in some manner.
I believe you'll enjoy them too.

 
 

Things that a losing exhibitor would like to say out loud to a Judge:

  1. I can see your winners choice, but I still think you're full of shit.

  2. Show my dog to you again? How about never? Is never good for you?

  3. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

  4. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being a better judge.

  5. Ahhhh ... I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.

  6. Thank you. I feel refreshed and challenged by your, umm, unique point of view.

  7. I'm trying to imagine you with the intelligence to put up a good dog.

  8. Not your type? Oh, I get it...like humor...but different.

  9. Nice perfume/after shave. Must you marinate in it? It made my dog sick!

  10. I'm really easy to get along with once you Judges learn to put up the right dogs.

Things that a Judge would like to say out loud to a losing exhibitor:

  1. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a darn word you're saying. 

  2. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid.

  3. You are validating my inherent dislike of Breeder/Owner Exhibitors.

  4. I have plenty of knowledge about your breed standard. I just don't give a damn.

  5. Any connections between your interpretation of the breed standard and mine is purely coincidental.

  6. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

  7. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my judging duties are largely ceremonial.

  8. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion of my judging would be?

  9. Sarcasm is just another service judges offer.

  10. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

  11. Whatever kind of look you were going for with the Poodle, you missed.

  12. Chaos, panic and disorder...my work in this ring is done.

  13. I thought I wanted a career judging dogs; turns out I just wanted a salary.

Author Unknown

 

BUYING LOYALTY

You can't buy loyalty, they say.
I bought it though, the other day.
You can't by friendship, tried and true,
Well just the same I bought that too.

I made my bid, and on the spot
Bought love and faith and a whole job lot
Of happiness, so all in all
The purchase price was pretty small.

I bought a single trusting heart,
That gave devotion from the start.
If you think these things are not for sale,
Buy a brown eyed puppy with a wagging tail.

 

HELP NEEDED ASAP


Please help!!!! After two long years of being on a waiting list for a show dog, we have been notified by the breeder that, at long last, our number has come up and ...WE ARE HAVING A PUPPY!!! 

We must get rid of our children IMMEDIATELY because we just know how time consuming our new little puppy is going to be and it just wouldn't be fair to the children. Since our little puppy will be arriving on Monday we MUST place the children into rescue this weekend! 

They are described as: 

One male - His name is Tommy, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), light blonde hair, blue eyes. Four years old. Excellent disposition. He doesn't bite. Temperament tested. Does have problems with peeing directly in the toilet. Has had Chicken Pox and is current on all shots. Tonsils have already been removed. 
Tommy eats everything, is very clean, house trained & gets along well with others. Does not run with scissors and with a little training he should be able to read soon. 

One female - Her name is Lexie, Caucasian (English/Irish mix), strawberry blonde hair, green eyes quite freckled. Two years old. Can be surly at times. Non-biter, thumb sucker. Has been temperament tested but needs a little attitude adjusting occasionally. She is current on all shots, tonsils out, and is very healthy & can be affectionate. Gets along well with other little girls & little boys but does not like to share her toys and therefore would do best in a one child household. She is a very quick learner and is currently working on her house training - shouldn't take long at all. 

We really do LOVE our children so much and want to do what's right for them; that is why we contacted a rescue group. But we simply can no longer keep them. Also, we are afraid that they may hurt our new puppy. 

I hope you understand that ours is a UNIQUE situation and we have a real emergency here!!! They MUST be placed into your rescue by Sunday night at the latest or we will be forced to drop them off at the orphanage or along some dark, country road. Our priority now has to be our new puppy. 

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